Friday, April 29, 2005

 

Blue Tits II

When my wife got home we sat and watched the nest box a while. We saw both the male and female blue tits entering and exiting the box. One of them came over to the tree and stripped some bark off until it had a mouth full - so we know they're building a nest!!
 

Blue Tits

At last, I finished the paper I've been working on. It turned out 15 pages, so now I can submit it into the conference and hope we get in.

I then went outside to do some glueing on my woodworking project. When I was walking past our nest boxes, I noticed the edge of the hole of one was wearing away - I thought something had been trying to get in - chewing the corner, like - but as I stood in the garage I was amazed to see a blue tit pop its head out and fly away. I stood there a while, and it came back. As it popped back out again, I took this photo:


Blue tit using nest box
 

Time flies when you're NOT having fun too

It's true. Time has flown for me this week while I've been striving to get this damn academic paper written. It has to be submitted today, and much as I hate conferences, I wouldn't mind going to this one - as long as I don't have to present - as it's in Galway in Ireland, and I do love Ireland.

It's been a nasty couple of days weather-wise and the Sun's now poking its warm head from beneath the grey blankets, which means only one thing - time to put the washing on the line :o/

Hopefully, I'll get back to posting daily again once this paper's in.

Wednesday, April 27, 2005

 

Too Good to Last

Ahhh, damn, I knew it would be too good to last: yesterday was the first day I didn't update my blog since I started.. boooo..

I was rather busy yesterday trying to knock up (i.e. cut and paste together) an academic paper for my work. It was seriously boring, but I managed to get it to a decent 12 pages straight off. Along with my woodworking course in the evening and some good TV (CSI and CSI: Miami) I just didn't quite get time.

Unfortunately, today is another day of attempting to finish of that crappy paper. It needs to be submitted on Friday (thankyou to my boss for the short notice!), so I'm trying to get it complete so I can give it to some collegues to proof read.

Monday, April 25, 2005

 

Monday Wildlife

Look at this little git breaking into the peanuts we leave out for the birds. He does this everyday - in fact, a number of times everyday - and everytime I have to frighten him away. I like squirrels but I don't like them breaking stuff!


Squirrel

We get two wood pigeons in our garden quite often. They're big dopey birds and this one found out it can sit on our table and get to the sunflower hearts.



These were taken with a point-and-shoot digital camera through a set of binoculars :o)

Sunday, April 24, 2005

 

Diary of a Chicken Roast

Chicken in the Oven




Getting the Parsnips and Spuds Ready




Steaming the Carrots and Swede




Boiling the Sprouts




Mashing the Swede




Chicken's Cooked




Ready to Eat



PS. Looked better in real life... The flash does nothing for it

Done and Dusted



It was most yummy
 

Sun and Rain Day

This morning I was playing around with my instruments, but couldn't seem to get my bass to work. Turns out that I'd forgotten it was an active bass, and that there is a battery inside. I opened it up to find a dead battery, but didn't have a replacement.


Insides of my bass guitar.

My wife and I went over to Haskins garden centre this afternoon. It was lovely weather when we left, but it's now got pretty nasty. We succomb terribly easily to buying stuff at that place, despite being rather poor gardeners. But we went over there especially for some fat snacks for our garden birds, and for a venus flytrap to eat the flies that we enevitably have hanging around our compost bin. Here's the one we bought, and it's already had a nasty little fly that was batting around our bathroom:


Venus Flytrap

We both also took a fancy to small gardening set to grow mexican-style vegetables - peppers, chillis and 'love apples' - a kind of tomato. As soon as we got back my wife planted them up:


Mexican Windowsill gardening kit.

I also bought a tiny little kit (really for kids) that grows what they call a sensitive plant (a Mimosa Pudica). I planted this up, and it had to be covered up until the seeds germinate:


Mimosa Pudica seeds

So, that's pretty much all we've managed today. Tonight we've got a lovely looking roast chicken we bought at Somerfield yesterday... and why not have a picture of it and make your mouth water too (if you're not vegetarian that is - apologies if you are):


Roast Chicken - yummy

Saturday, April 23, 2005

 

Wesley Snipes is Batman

I had the weirdest dream last night. It started with my town suddenly moving to a beach-side location and there being the threat of a tsunami. In our beach-side house an expert picked up a small lump of black stone as if to prove it happened once before.

At some point later in the dream, I was in a city building, on about the 4th floor, where they'd built a set for a new Batman film. It was late at night and they were testing the new bat mobile and Wesley Snipes, who was the new Batman, was there. I told him, "Come on, let's have a go", and we leapt in and started driving it around - by joystick, of course.

Later, I was on the next floor up which had been converted into the costume department for the film, although it looked much more like fabric shop. I walked around and said hello to someone who was working on a costume, who looked at me as if to say "Who the hell are you?". Anyway, I carried on regardless and remember talking to someone who insinuated I was getting married and whoever it was I was getting married to should've chosen someone with more money. I said, "Not all people without money are bad, and vice versa... I mean, look at Donald Trump."

There was a rather underlying anxiety with all the people in the film - like they were family, but bearing a grudge with each other -- except Wesley Snipes of course.

Anyway... weird dream. Just like a weird movie, like Bruce Willis new one looks.

Friday, April 22, 2005

 

We Must be Improving

Just got back from a tiring 2 hours of salsa dancing at our usual class. However, there was a large influx of newbies into the class today, and so our teacher suggested that the couples that are in our group all move up to the improvers class, that takes place when our usual class ends. She suggested we stay on and see how it goes, and so we did. We spent the first (beginners') hour doing really basic stuff for the newbie beginners. Suddenly, at 9pm, the class became the improvers, the beginners left and the old improvers turned up. We learnt a salsa turn and, uh, well, I guess it's another turn with arms everywhere. My wife had a bit of trouble, although I didn't find it too difficult. In fact, once we were going I was really enjoying all the spinning about. It was very knackering though, compared to the previous stuff we've done. I'm really enjoying salsa, and would really encourage people to take it up.
 

Office Space


Office Space

Last night I watched Office Space. It's a film based, unsurprisingly, around an office and centers on a guy who, like most of us office-workers, are thoroughly fed up with working in one. The plot revolves around Peter who, disenchanted, gets hypnotised. Suddenly not caring any more, he plots to rip off the company, while vowing to not go to work anymore.

However, it's the general well-observed situations that are the best part of this film. Sure, the office and people in the film are exaggerated, but not by a great deal (at least, not in my experience), and the script provides great gags line after line. Although I thought the ending was a little weak, the rest of the film makes up for it.

At only £5.99 for the DVD, it is far cheaper than paying £5.95 each to go to the cinema. It's a must see if you are a software engineer, work in a cubicle office, or have an annoying boss. Unfortunately, all three apply to me. This film will really make you wish you had the courage to do what Peter does.

As the main character, Peter, says, "Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about about mission statements.". Absolutely.
 

Proverb on the Rocks

I am getting one of the foremost accidental creator of proverb-cocktails. I reckon I've inherited it from my mother as she also does it, and, now that I've married someone who's mother is also a proverb-mixer, it's just getting worse.

Last night we managed to finish off a cheesecake that I'd made last week. It was getting old, so my wife gave us rather large portions to finish it off - which incidentally, I couldn't finish. In bed later that night I generated the first of the set of proverb cocktails below, that I've been witness to.

Thursday, April 21, 2005

 

Swallow


Closeup of one of my acoustics

I couldn't really think of anything to take a photo of today, so you've got a closeup of one of my acoustic guitars. I have been working from home today, and have been busy learning about neural networks - the computer immitation of our brains - and have started implementing on one. There's alot to them, though, but I've got another 18 months on my current contract, and so I've got the time to learn.

My gloves have been doing a sterling job today, and completely prevent me getting RSI - until I take them off, which is odd. So I guess I'll be wearing them alot. They're not just for computer use, and in fact were sold by a cross-stitch/knitting company. But they're even good when playing guitar or bodhrán. Today in the breaks I've taken I've learnt two songs from Gráda's CDs that we bought at their concert a week ago. I've learnt Swallow and Diamantina Drover, in case anyone knows those songs. If only I could sing, I might record them.... I might try anyway, although I'm not promising to release it!

I'm back in work tomorrow for a number of meetings, so that's fun for the end of the week... not.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

 

Only R


Handeze Gloves

My new Handeze gloves arrived today, although now the Post Office have removed the second post I only received them after work, because the postman turns up about 10am. They are a nice fit, and, as you can see from the picture, are in a fetching bluey-purple. The big velcro wrist straps support the wrists while the soft, flexible glove-material means one's fingers can move freely. I've only worn them briefly this evening, but they seem very comfortable. A full day tomorrow should see how they perform. Hopefully no more RSI, but unfortunately, I will have to continue with the R.
 

Reading, not watching videos

So far today I've been reading the usual academic papers, all pretty dull stuff.. however, earlier this morning, I found out about the bizarre world of Videoblogging, and the introduction of the new word to describe it, vlog. My first introduction to this was Josh Leo's 'rant' about vlogging, which is very entertaining and inspiring, if not exactly ranty. The community builds as Annie replies to him. I then ended up watching some snippets of Michael Verdi's life as he toured the Big Apple. Michael's written a good intro into how to start making video blogs for free.

All this reminds me of a time a few years ago when I used to do exactly this sort of thing for a mate of mine who lives a few hundred miles away in London. It wasn't exactly daily, or even monthly, but was thoroughly enjoyable, and seeing other people doing it for free is quite inspiring. I love videography and photography and photoblogs and videoblogs are a great way to ensure you keep up the skills in something you enjoy - but getting the time for it is so difficult. Best of all, it's ideal for the voyeur in us all to see how other people live their lives. A show on the BBC called Video Nation tried/s to do this on the TV. It works, but 5 minutes a week is about as often as I thought I'd be updating my blog. Notice that I've still managed one a day? No, didn't think anyone had noticed.

Tuesday, April 19, 2005

 

Oh to be outside


Flower in the Garden

I just took this photo of a flower in our garden a moment ago. I needed a rest from the keyboard for a bit, so I went out and took that. It's a beautiful day outside - if only I could spend all day out there. I tried taking some photos of the hover flies with my SLR, but I suspect they won't come out... but being film we'll have to wait and see.
 

Speculation


Speculation

I have a date with the opticians today. I don't usually get too nervous as, unlike the dentist, it's fairly difficult for an optician to hurt you - unless they accidentally poke you in the eye, I suppose. I'm mainly going because of general computer-related health problems that, as Biscuits says, they never tell you about on the adverts. I suspect a new set of close-range specs is the answer, so that my eyes aren't straining to focus on the screen all the time; although the thought of having to swap glasses is not exciting me. Maybe they'll have some wonderful miracle cure, "Oh, what you want is the Fix-an-Eye Chocolate Bar TM. One bar a day for the next week and you won't even need specs ever again." It's really the £300-plus price tag on new specs that hurts the most.

Monday, April 18, 2005

 

Nikon D70S

Wooo! It looks like Nikon are bringing out another entry level digital SLR called the Nikon D50, but best of all, they're updating the Nikon D70, with the Nikon D70S (See here and here). This is great news as I've been hankering after a D70 for a while and nearly took up their £100 cashback offer, but will now probably wait until the new version, although they're obviously not going to be doing the £100 cashback on that!

Sunday, April 17, 2005

 

Rain Stops 'Play'

I spent this morning carrying on with my cupboard project, in between attempting to rope up some flopping trees. I ironed on the end veneer that covers the nasty chipboard inside, and put a batten on the side of the upright which will be attached to the wall. I've been mulling over how to strengthen the corner of the cupboard that will be away from the wall, and have decided on a bracing strut up the inside of the cupboard that will take the weight back up to the batten on the wall. Hopefull it will work. I made that today before it started raining.

It's pretty nasty out now, so my wife and I have just watched the episode of CSI:NY that we taped last night. It's no where near as good as CSI in my opinion - the evidence is too convenient most of the time, and the characters aren't as good. Still, it's worth watching.

Back to work tomorrow. Awww...
 

Gráda

Last night we went into Wimborne to see a band called Gráda organised by the Celtic Folk guys. The band consisted of a flautist (who also played the box and clearly had a really bad back), a vocalist (who also played the bodhrán), a fiddle player, all from Ireland and two New Zealanders playing bass and guitar. They played a really good selection of tunes ranging from the 'modern' irish folk stuff to some traditional aires. It was a really good night, and they're a very good band - humourous, superb musicians and more importantly they work really well together. I can certainly recommend them, and they're one of my favourite irish bands we've seen along with Brolum and Malinky, who have now unfortunately changed their line-up. The last time we went to a Celtic Folk concert, we saw Misé, but Gráda blew them away, in my opinion. They must've been good as we purchased two of their CDs.

Saturday, April 16, 2005

 

DIY Cupboards

I've spent this afternoon trying to think my way around cupboards and the physics involved. I'm new to DIY and putting up cupboards is a new skill I'm attempting to acquire. Of course, I don't do things the easy way, either. No, this cupboard only has two sides and sits in a corner between two walls - coving on both, and pipes in the corner. The doors have to be offset from the wall so they don't hit the curtain pole. I've put a false bottom in the design so we can have lights underneath, and it's made from standard veneered chipboard. I've built the bottom, with the false bottom, and the side - but I'm worried that those things on their own will be too heavy, let alone with the weighty veneered MDF doors we've bought. Yikes. I see a one-time collapsable design approaching.
 

Salsa

My wife and I went to take our first examination in salsa dancing yesterday. The medal tests are basically blackmailed onto the students, but to be honest, it was a really good evening.

The medal tests were taking place for salsa and line dancing, both of which our teacher teaches. The line dancers were quite impressive, doing at least three dances each, and quite a few doing the dance on their own. Considerably nerve wracking I would have thought.

Having said that, I don't think line dancing is anything like as nice a looking dance as salsa. There were another couple from the advanced salsa group dancing for their silver medal and they looked excellent - really put us beginners to shame.

My wife and I were both nervous. For me it was more the being-watched than the examination. Scary to have 30 people all staring at you (well, we danced 2 couples at a time, so I guess on average half of them were looking at you). I thought we danced pretty well, though, and once we got into freestyle-dance bit we were improvising dance routines using some of the more complicated moves we'd already learnt, but didn't need for the simple exam routine.

I'm fairly sure we've passed, but I'm interested to see the breakdown of our pass - we were scored on general confidence, style, technique, rythmn and potential. I think the rest of our beginner's salsa group did really well too, and I'm sure we all passed.

The evening went on until about 10:30, so we missed out on our usual chip-shop chips afterwards. So, we're having some tonight before going to a celtic music concert in Wimborne.

See? I'm not always grumpy!

Friday, April 15, 2005

 

Another Day

It's been one of those days today where it's been busy, but I haven't really got anything much to say. I've just been working on getting one of my websites completed, so I can upload the new version tonight. My RSI is still playing my up, so I've been working from home again today, although I'm supposed to be taking more breaks because I'm here... but.. well, I find it hard to take breaks. I will probably get some Handeze gloves to help out with it. Shame they don't have an online ordering system though and trust me to have hands that are exactly on the border between size 3 and size 4. If I get size 3 will it be too small? If I get size 4 will it be too loose? I guess that's why they make you phone up!


Thursday, April 14, 2005

 

Academic Papers



Academic Papers. Tosh.
From phdcomics.com



As part of my work as a researcher, I have to stop doing research and write about what it is I've done. This is written up in academic papers. Academic papers are basically about making whatever it is you're doing look so complicated that no-one else could have thought of it, and make it sound like the most Earth-changing device since the primordial soup. Of course, as a researcher you have to read these papers, as well as write them, so its patently obvious that what the paper's author has done might be interesting, even slightly innovative, but, just like your own research, it's really just another means for getting more money from the research sponsors, hence the reason to make it look more complicated than it really is.

I hate that. I really hate trying to bullshit about the work I've done. My boss is the best at it, using great-long words that only dictionaries know. But this is why he's such a successful academic. Me, I don't want to be an academic. My brain gets words mixed up anyway, without trying to process 8 syllabubbles. So, when I write papers I tend to write the truth as it is. I did this for my PhD dissertation too. My external examiner said "I don't like your writing style." Thanks. My papers have been turned down at a number of conferences for various reasons - "Not technical enough", "Reads like a technical manual", "Not enough novel research", etc. - and honestly, I couldn't give a shit. What all of the referees meant really, was "I understood this, as it was written technically and truthfully, so it can't be complicated enough or high-brow enough for our conference." Unfortunately, my bosses still make me write the damn things.

Anyway, I'm currently writing a journal paper. These are identical to conference papers, except 3 times longer. I'm upto 10 pages so far. I've still got ample to write, but if I don't bullshit it up a bit with some longer words and unneccessary mathematical formulae, I don't see that it will get accepted. *sigh*

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

 

Days of Whine and Woes(es)

I know, I moan alot, but here goes again. What annoys me alot is people who are late. I don't mean dead people, I mean people who can't be arsed to get somewhere on, or before time. Sure, I know problems arise and things occur, but there are some people who are habitual late-shows, or worse no-shows.

My Mum used to have a friend like that - she was always late, and you could count on it. I used to know a guy like that too. In fact, one evening when all my friends had organised a birthday meal, he didn't even bother showing up. His excuse was "Sorry, I had business to attend to.". Business? What business? That was always his excuse. "Business to attend to." He was always a bit secretive like that. Haven't seen him lately.

Perhaps it annoys me so, because I always try to get somewhere early. That way if its not appropriate to show up early, I can just hang about round the corner. Anyway, I tell you this because I'm working from work today, rather than home. Why? Because the department's photographer is supposed to be coming around to take photos of everyone at 11:15... it's now 14:03. Still no sign of him. He better bloody turn up, otherwise I'm going to be annoyed that I could've saved some money, some carbon dioxide and some sanity, and worked from home. Oh well.

Tuesday, April 12, 2005

 

Aching Eyes

When I woke up this morning I knew I wasn't going to go to work. I'm not on holiday, either. I had a thick head, my eyes ached and my hands were hurting from RSI - it was not comfortable. I could have struggled into my car, paracetamol in my stomach, and fought the madness that is the motorway, but I just couldn't be arsed. I do work from home fairly regularly (although I recently found out that my boss isn't too keen on the idea - but that's another post!), so staying home to work wasn't all that unusual. But, despite feeling better now I'm dosed up on drugs, I still can't be arsed to do work. The ergonomic keyboard isn't helping my hand... the monitor isn't helping my eyes... I just feel a bit crap.

I saw a trailer on TV for Trisha a few weeks back that seemed to suggest they were going to have an interesting discussion about whether men have dips and lulls in the way they feel during the month. They made out they'd show some men who have bad moments, just like some women are worse during their pre-menstrual moments. But, it wasn't like that, as I should have suspected. They had on some women who were complaining their husbands were grumpy. The 'grumpy' men came on and grumped about a couple of things and then a panel of women 'experts' told them if they were unreasonably grumpy or not. No science. Just Lowry Turner telling the husbands to sort themselves out. I used to like Lowry Turner before that show.

It's a shame they didn't deliver what they promised, as I do believe men go through hormonal cycles during the month, as every so often (never actually timed it, but..) I get on a downer. Anyone know if this is true?

I know I'll be ok soon, but my achey limbs and head and the thought of another year or so of office work (contract's just been extended at work), isn't floating my boat. The sooner I get my internet business up and running the better.

Monday, April 11, 2005

 

Table Saws

I have fantasies about changing my garage into a wood-working shop. I still might do it, and at the weekend I was offered a job lot of willow wood from the remains of a tree that was chopped down near where my sister works. I'm not really setup to accept raw timber yet, but I'd love to be.

What you need to do is get the timber, cut it, then prepare and store it for a while (preferably years) to allow it to dry out, and then you can use it. However, I fall at the first fence. I don't have a means to even get the timber. My sister says they're large lumps and will require a trailer. Perhaps my Dad can help out on the trailer front. But, here comes the second fence... *thud* I have no way to cut the timber.

I just took a look around on Toolstation and they have some table saws but I'm not really sure what I was looking for. So another search and I come up with a page about table saw techniques. The author first warns you about the safety aspect of table saws. He says, "[One of the] most dangerous tools or operations in the shop is the one that you are afraid of". He then goes on to show you all the potential ways the table saw might try to remove your fingers. Inspires me with confidence to spend £100 on a saw... not.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

 

DIY

Gah, I just hate the hoards of DIYers that flock to B&Q on any nice weekend. The fact that, to them, I am also one of the hoards doesn't change my view. It's such a pantomime dancing from side to side, ducking the low flying planks of wood and dodging the huge house plants while walking up the aisles, attempting to remember exactly what you need to put up a cupboard on the wall.

Earlier this year we completed the decoration of our second, smaller bedroom and although a couple of small shelves have made it up onto the wall, the major item between its current state and completion is the cupboard. It's a pretty basic affair, but so is my knowledge of DIY. Not really knowing what you're doing, while also spending a great deal on what is essentially cheap wood covered with a cheap veneer, can be quite taxing. Couple this with dodging swarms of other sunny-day decorators and B&Q becomes the mouth to the underworld.

The stress of spending £106 sent me into a spin allday, so I sat down and watched TV most of the afternoon. Damn, I'm such a slob.

Saturday, April 09, 2005

 

Nice Day at the Beach


Soft sand - perfect for stripping skin.


As part of a 'fitness-building regime' my wife and I are undertaking, in order to complete a 25 mile chairty cycle-ride in 4 weeks, we cycled the 12 miles to the beach (and back, of course - 24 miles in all) , with a little picnic.

It was a lovely sunny day at home, with a little nip in the air, but almost the minute we got our legs over the centre bar, the wind started to blow, and it blew all day into our faces. Whichever turn we made, it was there blowing. It really gave our legs a work-out, mind. We headed to Sandbanks, where the wind was whipping the sand up into nice little waves that would try to sandblast the skin off your face. Here we setup our picnic blanket, and chomped on our gritty, sand-infested pasties.

There were some guys in Poole Harbour doing kite surfing. In fact, I hadn't realised it was such a popular sport around here, and there must have been about 20 of them zooming around. It looked quite lethal, as the wind got up. One guy's kite went on a trip across a road, and he just couldn't stop it. The traffic pulled up as the kite lines blocked the road, and a hotel's metal fire-exit steps on the other side of the road grappled with the runaway kite.

Got nearly run over by a bus on the way home - not sure what the prat was thinking, but as I negotiated a round-about the driver looked straight at me, so I thought 'OK, he's seen me, no worries'. He accelerated and attempted to get across in front of me. I had to slam on my brakes to avoid embedding myself in the side. If only I'd got his number.. grrr..

Anyway, I'm happy to be home again, and the wind burn on my face is getting fiercer by the hour. I Feel like I've been swimming in acid.

Friday, April 08, 2005

 

Driving

You're going to hear alot about this....

I hate driving. I never used to. In fact, I used to love it, but as I've got older and now approaching my mid-life crisis, I'm beginning to hate it. In fact, it's not the driving, it's the people. I'm beginning to hate people - people driving anyway.

I travel 32 miles to work, and back again, all on motorways, and the amount of bad driving I see is incredible. It's a wonder we haven't all been wiped out. I reckon at least 90% of drivers are crap at it, and yet they all think they're the best.

I saw two incidents today that made me fume. I'll tell you about the first in another post, but the second made me lean on my horn and get on the light flasher stick. I believe nearly 50% of crap driving is down to impatience, and today's twat was certainly that.

As I'm nearing home on the dual carriageway, I have to tackle a number of small roundabouts, the last of which I have to turn right at, so on the penultimate one I make sure I'm in the outside lane. It's only about 500 yards from roundabout to roundabout, so it's not long to wait. But a prat in one of those stupid people movers (damn they need a post of their own) couldn't wait. He undertook me (which incidentally is illegal in this country). I saw him doing this and attempted to speed up to block him inside the slower traffic (I often do this because 1. It makes me feel good when their impatience hasn't paid off, and 2. It's funny to watch them fume). However, my old tractor couldn't keep up with him lump of shit, and he pulled out just before he hit the slower traffic into my path. That was it. I leant on the horn. TWAT.

ARGGHH.. These people wind me up.. What's wrong with just waiting 5 seconds longer? We're all trying to get home, y'know.

Anyway. If you drive like that - I hope you die... or, at least hurt yourself a bit.

Have a nice evening.
 

Default First Post

First posts... what to say in them.. You can't say anything too bumptious because I reckon the first post will probably end up being the most viewed... I mean, whenever I come across a new blog I go and look at the first post to see how different it was from the current posts...

But, I have no idea where this will go... No doubt it will be full of gripes that I currently direct at my poor wife.

Talking of which.. last night on TV I watched a program that called "Life before Birth". The trailers looked great, all about the stuff babies get upto while being carted around in their mother's tum. It looked pretty impressive at first, with poetry from the point of view of the baby. However, other than the fact it was padded to two hours (it felt like we were watching pregnancy in real-time), the suggestions they were making (although they proffered them so assertively it made them sound like fact) seemed massive leaps of the imagination. From a 2 frames-per-second, blocky, computer-generated, 3D ultrasound view of the womb, they were making assertions that the baby was yawning, had hiccups (all in fluid, of course) or was sucking its thumb (none of which I saw any hard evidence for). They were making assertions that made the 24 week old baby sound like it had high cognitive powers. For example, they said babies can dance in beat to the music its mother was listening to. I mean, come on! Half the people in the country STILL can't dance in time to a beat. Half-way through, it became clear that the views from inside the womb were actually very good computer graphics, sadly let down when the baby opened its eyes. Computer's still can't do realistic eyes. Suddenly the whole credibility of the show took a slump, and I felt like doing something else.

However, if it had one good effect, that was to show how painful childbirth was. Made my wife think again, just as I was coming around to the idea, too.

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